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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29107941">Catherine Deserved Better</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/WonderWords/pseuds/WonderWords'>WonderWords</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>CSI: Crime Scene Investigation</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 03:28:42</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,911</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29107941</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/WonderWords/pseuds/WonderWords</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Nick shows Catherine what it means to "deserve better".</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Nick Stokes &amp; Catherine Willows</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Disclaimer: I don't own them. I just borrow them.</p>
<p>I write without restrictions – I don't follow timelines or recount the correct "version" of events. I use the show – as well as what happens in the show – for inspiration. In saying that, die hard CSI fans – if any read – will remember what I'm writing about from the show; however the accuracy won't be documented play by play and word by word. I prefer to write from Catherine's POV – if it varies, it'll be stated.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Just get him outta here,” I muttered fighting back tears as I stormed into the break room and slammed the door shut with my foot, leaning against it and cradling my throbbing wrist to my chest. I didn’t know how I thought I’d get any privacy there, but it was the closest escape route from Eddie. Again. Escape routes weren’t something new to me – maybe it had been a while, but it wasn’t unfamiliar. I took a deep breath to calm down and tried to will the tears at bay. Turns out I didn’t have much will power today. I angrily wiped the tears away with my good hand, still clutching my wrist against my chest. I tried to flex it and cried out a little when I felt a stab of sharp pain. I didn’t think Eddie could’ve hurt me that badly, but I forgot he had large hands that sometimes seemed to come with iron clad grip and he had managed to twist it a little before he slammed it against the double sided glass - hard. I trudged towards the grey two seater couch and fell into the corner cushion, scooting forwards and perching on the edge so I could put my head between my knees and challenge my now shallow breathing. Eddie had riled me up, like he always does, and I was just upset. I was upset and humiliated. No, I was more than that; I was angry – seething and my blood was still boiling and that’s what was making it so difficult to calm my heart rate. My life was my work and the few scraps of private life I did have were now floating around the CSI Crime Lab. Just then I heard the break room door open and close quietly and I groaned inwardly, wanting to bury my head into the carpet completely. I just couldn’t face anybody right now.</p>
<p>I felt the couch sink as someone sat down and when I shifted my head slightly I saw Nick’s work boots come into view and I almost relaxed.</p>
<p>“Hey Cath, are you okay?” I felt his hand lightly touch my shoulder and flinched a little involuntarily, more out of habit than anything else, but I felt Nick’s hand withdraw.</p>
<p>I slowly sat up and moved back to rest my head, turning to look at him. “I’m fine, thanks Nicky.” I smiled weakly and then closed my eyes. “It’s just Eddie . . .” I felt my jaw clench. “He pisses me off and drives me crazy! He just has this way of getting under my skin and making it crawl – fucking moron.”</p>
<p>He gave me a sympathetic half smile and said, “Yeah I know.”</p>
<p>“Oh God,” I cringed, feeling my humiliation drop another couple of notches. “Who else knows?” </p>
<p>“I don’t know,” he answered simply. “I didn’t hear it, I saw it. I was heading towards here when I heard the commotion and stopped when I saw Grissom appear out of nowhere. That’s when I saw Eddie had you pinned. How’s your wrist?” He leaned over and gingerly grasped my fingers so he could take a better look. I winced when I saw a clear pique red print of Eddie’s fingers, his hands so oversized in comparison to my wrist it was a complete overlap.</p>
<p>“Jesus Cath, just how hard did he grip you?” He looked at me almost in disbelief, but then I saw his eyes begin to darken as he frowned. “You know – “</p>
<p>Nick was interrupted when the break room door opened again and this time it was Warrick who was carrying Lindsay. She seemed okay - maybe a little bewildered by all the noise and disturbance, but lit up when she saw me and Warrick put her down. She ran to me with arms outstretched.</p>
<p>“Mommy!” Throwing her arms around my neck I lifted her to sit on my lap where she buried into my chest. I grimaced at the movement of my wrist, but hugged her tightly. “Why you . . . you, Daddy fighting again?”</p>
<p>I felt a heavy pang hit me in the chest and licked my lips quickly before I answered her. How do you explain abuse, money embezzlement and a custody battle to a 3 year old? “Baby, Mommy and Daddy just have lots to talk about, okay?” I gently scratched her back in a circular motion, knowing it always calms her down.</p>
<p>“Umph.” She didn’t look at me when she gave me that as her reply, but reached out and took my locket, playing with it and trying to see if it would open.</p>
<p>I sighed a little and glanced up to find Nick and Warrick watching me, hovering for support. “Hey,” I whispered and cupped her little cheek forcing her to look at me. “I love you so much, okay?” Then I smothered her with kisses and she giggled.</p>
<p>“Mommy, stop!” More kisses, more giggles. “Stop!” And she pushed her little hands against my chest.</p>
<p>“Okay.” I rested my forehead against hers. “I’ll stop when you tell me how much I love you!”</p>
<p>She giggled and then hiccupped. “So much!”</p>
<p>“How much?” And I tickled her.</p>
<p>“So much!” I stopped tickling and took hold of her baby wrist, holding both her hands in mine. “What’s that?” She gently ran her tiny fingers over where Eddie had bruised me, which was still red but now starting to swell and would soon turn purple just like they always did.</p>
<p>I avoided looking at Nick and Warrick and swallowed hard. “Mommy had a little accident and hurt her wrist, but I’m going to be fine baby.” I tried to smile reassuringly.</p>
<p>“Boo-boo?” And she cocked her head, now curious. This was the problem. She was smart and I knew that – obviously Eddie thought I was just saying it because she was my daughter, but she’s honestly smart. It’s a kind of smart that Eddie doesn’t have – common sense. Lindsay was developing her “street smart” that normally comes to kids at a much later stage in life, if some even learn it at all. I didn’t trust myself to speak and so I just nodded and then, without prompt or anyone saying anything, she leaned down and butterfly kissed the bruising it was so light.</p>
<p>I swallowed hard again and looked up at Warrick, clearing my throat and having difficulty trying to get the words out. “Baby, Uncle Warrick is going to take you to Nana’s house, okay? Then Mommy will pick you up later.”</p>
<p>She looked at Warrick and then back at me a couple times as though weighing up her options. “I want to stay here. With . . . with you,” she mumbled softly and then began to fiddle with my blazer buttons. I loved my job, but it’s moments like this that broke my heart.</p>
<p>I tightened my hold on her, as though trying to reassure her. “You can’t baby. Mommy – “</p>
<p>“Mommy has lots of bad guys she has to catch to keep people safe Peanut and that’s why you need to go to Nana’s so that you’re safe.”</p>
<p>I shot Nick a grateful look at rescuing me because Lindsay then nodded solemnly, now comprehending.  “Okay. We go . . . go now?” She turned to Warrick and I smiled, pleading with him.</p>
<p>“Uh, sure. Yeah we can go now.” He picked her up from my lap and I stood up at the same time.</p>
<p>“Take my SUV because it’ll be easier with the car seat - keys are in my locker.” I kissed his cheek. “Thanks Warrick, I owe you.”</p>
<p>“Don’t mention it.” He shifted Lindsay to the other arm. “Hey Linds, what’s your favorite car music?”</p>
<p>“Disney!” She grinned.</p>
<p>I laughed and then kissed her on the lips. “Mommy will call you later, okay?” I called after her as Warrick’s tall frame disappeared out the door. I let out a big sigh and dropped down onto the couch again.</p>
<p>“You’re really great with her Cath,” Nick said smiling. “The way you handled that.”</p>
<p>“Yeah well, you become good with practice,” I quipped without even thinking. “I mean – “<br/>
“I think I know what you mean.” He cut me off softly. “You know, it’s probably a good thing Grissom got there before me because I don’t think I would’ve been as restrained.”</p>
<p>“Yeah well, that’s Grissom’s style. Always has been. Always will be.” I smiled dryly, without humor.</p>
<p>“I kind of figured that. You know I know Eddie’s a bastard.”</p>
<p>I raised my eyebrows, but then nodded in agreement.</p>
<p>“I know he cheated on you and now he’s trying to knock all of us with this bullshit custody case, but I think there’s more to it. I think there has been more to it.”</p>
<p>“Nick . . .” I said warningly. </p>
<p>“I’m sorry Cath.” He reached out and carefully took my wrist, now starting to bruise. “I don’t mean to pry, but you’re my friend and I care about you.”</p>
<p>I smiled faintly. “Thanks Nicky. I appreciate that.”</p>
<p>“Is it true that Grissom knew Eddie was cheating on you and just didn’t tell you?”</p>
<p>The question stunned me and I fumbled before I could answer him. People knew Eddie had cheated on me – I didn’t keep that a secret – but not many knew details, such as that Grissom knew.</p>
<p>“Uh yes,” I answered softly. “He knew, but deemed it none of his business and that he wouldn’t interfere. I don’t think I’ve ever forgiven him for it.”</p>
<p>“I don’t blame you. I’m gonna go out on a limb here and you don’t have to say anything if you don’t want it to, but was Eddie abusive?”</p>
<p>I looked down and felt my stomach drop; my hands becoming a little clammy as I instinctively moved to touch the bruise. “He was uh, yeah he was.” I cleared my throat at revealing the secret. “And more.”</p>
<p>“And more?” I looked up and our eyes met briefly, but I saw the concern and felt it when he put his hand on my knee. I flinched again, but he didn’t remove it this time.</p>
<p>“Well Eddie got whatever he wanted whenever he wanted and how ever he wanted, including sex. He was, uh, he was very controlling. When I was still dance – I mean working at the club he’d keep me in check with coke so . . . that’s my own fault.” I felt the familiar surge of guilt and shame, but I figured by now Nick did actually know everything, or he wouldn’t have asked, so he was just looking for confirmation. </p>
<p>“God Cath, I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize it was that bad.” He squeezed my knee. Ah. The word ‘realize’ indicated to me that he had actually worked it out. “And Lindsay?”</p>
<p>“Lindsay was probably my saving grace. The abuse became less and not as severe –“</p>
<p>“So he didn’t stop completely? Even though you were pregnant?” Nick looked at me in disbelief again, his eyes then darkening in anger.</p>
<p>“I was working here already though. I had been for a couple years already,” I said it as if that made up for it.</p>
<p>“Do you think Grissom knew about the abuse?” </p>
<p>He had asked the question I had known the answer to for years, but had never verbalized it to anyone, ever. I took a deep breath before I answered slowly, “Yes. I think he did.”</p>
<p>“But just like with the cheating he wasn’t going to get involved.” Nick filled in for me. “Why didn’t you go to the police?”</p>
<p>“Did you seriously just ask me that?” I scoffed and shook my head. “Nick, Eddie has friends everywhere. He also has friends in very high places. Why do you think this custody issue has turned into war?”</p>
<p>Nick pursed his lips then nodded in agreement. “Okay,” he conceded. “I understand, but what I don’t understand are Grissom’s actions; especially if he knew about the abuse. I mean, if that had happened today he’d be all over it.”</p>
<p>“Not necessarily,” I disagreed. “There was a case Sara was working on with an abusive marriage and Grissom kept telling her to keep herself in check. Sometimes I wonder if he’s capable of human emotion and then other times he surprises me. He’s like a goddamn lucky dip, but you never know when you’re going to get lucky.” </p>
<p>“Yeah, but in that case the wife was already dead Cath.”</p>
<p>“Which wouldn’t have happened if somebody had intervened before she became a corpse,” I reasoned. “I don’t know if anybody intervening for me would’ve done anything anyway, but . . . just having someone know; knowing I wasn’t alone? You know? I think that would’ve helped.” I shrugged a little as though the notion of it would need to be proved first.</p>
<p>“You don’t do it now Cath – “</p>
<p>“Do what?” I asked, cutting him off. </p>
<p>“You share, but you’re guarded – not that I don’t get it.” He held up both hands in defense as I frowned and was about to argue. “I’m just saying you’re tough. You don’t take any crap from anybody – including Grissom – and you’re sharp, you’re quick on your feet and your wit could kill.”</p>
<p>I laughed and laid a hand on his arm. “Thank you for the credit Nicky.” It was one way to make me smile; and I meant it.</p>
<p>“Nick, you’re off duty. Catherine what’re still doing here? Home.” Grissom was standing in the break room door way with a jar of what I’m just going to assume were roaches.</p>
<p>“Hey!” I said indignantly. “Why do I have to go home? I didn’t start the fight! I – “</p>
<p>“I know, but you might want to get that seen to.” He pointed at my wrist with his pen.</p>
<p>“It’s just a bruise!” I scowled. “I can still – “</p>
<p>“And it could’ve been worse. It needs ice. Now. Don’t make me lock you in the break room.”</p>
<p>Wide eyed my jaw fell open and I stared at him for a few seconds, trying to work out whether he was serious or not because I knew he’d do it if he had to.</p>
<p>“Er why don’t I take Catherine home and then Warrick can just drop her SUV and he can take a cab?” Nick intervened, trying to keep the peace.</p>
<p>“Yeah, good idea. Catherine. Home. Now. That’s an order.” I stuck my tongue out at him as he closed the door and hurried off.</p>
<p>“So, you wanna grab your things and meet me out front?” Nick asked as he stood up.</p>
<p>“Hey um, do you think we could maybe go for a drink or something? I just need to breathe, which is hard to do with a 3 year old, and I’m not ready to face my mother either.” I cricked my neck to the side while sighing.</p>
<p>“Yeah, sure, but why don’t we go to my place instead? It’ll be quiet and probably easier to unwind – I also have alcohol,” he added and then grinned at me.</p>
<p>“Ice?” I asked teasingly.</p>
<p>“Got that too!”</p>
<p>I felt his hand against my lower back and immediately shuddered at the warmth of being so close to him. I couldn’t figure out whether it was comfort, attraction or both but we’d find out.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“I know baby, Mommy loves you too, but I’ll pick you up tomorrow okay?”</p>
<p>“When to . . . tomorrow?” </p>
<p>I could hear the uncertainty in her voice and part of me just wanted to jump into a ride and bring her home with me, but if I didn’t take this gap now I knew I didn’t know when I’d get one again and I just needed to clear my head or at least take a step back.</p>
<p>“Mommy?”</p>
<p>Her voice sounded even more baby-like over the phone, even though I knew she was technically a toddler. “That’s just one sleep at Nana’s house and then I’ll see you tomorrow, okay baby?”</p>
<p>“’kay.”</p>
<p>“I love you so much!” I tried to sound upbeat and enthusiastic. “How much?”</p>
<p>She laughed then. “So much!”</p>
<p>I felt a little relief at hearing her laugh. “Clever girl! Now give the phone to Nana, I think she wants to talk to Mommy.”</p>
<p>There was a muffled exchange before I heard my mother’s sarcastic tone. “Catherine, when are you going to stop messing around and just get back with Eddie already? The child needs the stability of two parents. Or at least one stable parent and that sure isn’t you!”</p>
<p>I took a deep breath to center myself before I answered her. I wasn’t surprised as this was her game plan into fixing my life. She didn’t really care about the other stuff and told me that in her day it was ‘just handled’. “Mom, I’m working on something that’s been taking up a lot of my time and – “</p>
<p>“Don’t play that excuse card with me Catherine. You know as well as I do what you need to do, but you’re too busy playing career woman when you should be playing family!”</p>
<p>I sighed. “Look Mom, I’ll pick up Lindsay tomorrow okay? Goodnight.” I hung up the phone and Nick was standing in front of me smiling with 2 bottles of beer and an ice pack in consolation.</p>
<p>“How’s Lindsay?” He asked as he sat down and put my beer on the coffee table.</p>
<p>“She’s okay.” I shook my head and placed the ice pack on my wrist, wincing. “She still wants to be with me though. Ow, shit this stings.”</p>
<p>“You sure we shouldn’t get that checked out?” He nodded towards the ice pack. On the way over he kept insisting we should pop into the ER just to be safe, so I swiped his keys and drove instead. </p>
<p>“I’m fine Nick,” I said and rolled my eyes. “Honestly, I’ve been worse. I think it’s just been a while and I wasn’t always able to ice up.”</p>
<p>He moved the ice pack to see, but it was still swelling and starting to color now. “I’m really sorry you still have to go through this,” he said as he whisked his fingers over the bruising so gently I didn’t even feel it.</p>
<p>I softened with his concern. “I’m okay Nicky,” I murmured. “I got out and – “</p>
<p>“Yeah but this pig is still making your life hell and with all you’ve been through it isn’t fair to you and it isn’t fair to Lindsay.” He shook his head in disgust and downed some of his beer.</p>
<p>“I know he’s her father, but that’s what I’m worried about. I can’t let Eddie have custody – even 50/50 – and I’m starting to think I should request supervised visitations. The only thing is one wrong move on my part and he’ll take me down because he knows he can. Lindsay doesn’t even want to go there anymore and when I’m home she’s attached to my hip.”  </p>
<p>“Name one 3 year old who doesn’t want to be with their mother. Sometimes it’s a little separation anxiety.” In the process of taking off his work boots now, he turned and glanced at me.</p>
<p>“How would you know about separation anxiety in toddlers?” I frowned slightly curious and took my first sip, leaning back with the ice pack in toe to rest my feet on his coffee table.</p>
<p>“Uh Cath, not that I mind but please take your shoes off first,” he said as he pointed at the coffee table with his beer bottle.</p>
<p>I was taken aback because most guys – bachelors – weren’t really too perturbed about stuff like that, but then again Nick wasn’t like most guys. “Shit, yeah sure – sorry about that.” I gave him my beer to hold and slid the ice pack onto the couch while I slipped out my boots and immediately felt a little release of freedom. Instead of stretching my legs out on the coffee table, I tucked them underneath me and took my beer, resuming the ice pack at the same time. “So you never answered my question.” I drummed my fingers against the bottle in mock impatience.</p>
<p>“Simple answer? Siblings.” He shrugged and took a swing of his beer.</p>
<p>“Simple answer? What is that!” I gently punched him in the arm with my good hand.</p>
<p>“I just have a lot of siblings and quite a few were younger than me.” He shrugged and gave me that exclusive Nick Stokes smile that made my heart flutter a little.</p>
<p>“Well you learn something new every day, so I guess this is my ‘today’,” I said laughing. “As for me it’s just my sister and with Lindsay, well I’d never ever bring another child into this world under those circumstances.”</p>
<p>“She’s great though Cath. She’s not a brat and she doesn’t whine like some 3 year olds I’ve seen. She takes after you. She’s smart and picks things up quickly, whether it’s doing something physical or how to read a room and people.”</p>
<p>“Yeah,” I sighed. “That’s part of the problem, actually. Sometimes I think she’s too smart for her own good at her age.” I sipped and felt the yeasty taste bubble a little as I swallowed. “It’s starting to affect her though – didn’t you notice how she’s stuttering? She knows what she wants to say, but sometimes she can’t always get the words out and I know it frustrates her and getting worked up doesn’t help; it only makes it worse. She doesn’t understand why it’s happening and she hasn’t questioned me about it – yet.”</p>
<p>“So you’re saying this shit with Eddie is actually having a physical affect on her?” Nick raised his eyebrows. “You don’t think?” And he left me to fill in the blanks.</p>
<p>“Who? Eddie? No, definitely not. If it were me he wouldn’t think twice, but he’d never hurt Lindsay. He might be a shitty father, but he’d never abuse her.” </p>
<p>The ice pack was beginning to melt and I lifted it to check it again. It had stunted the swelling, but that was as good as it was going to get. “I think this has helped as much as it’s going to Nick and it’s starting to melt.” I stood up and placed my beer on the coffee table. “Where can I dispose?”</p>
<p>“Wait, let me do it.” He moved to stand and I used one hand to push him back into the couch.</p>
<p>“Relax Nicky, it’s not my foot I’ve injured. I can walk.” I smiled cheekily.</p>
<p>He shook his head and smiled. “Okay, you can just drop it in the kitchen sink – door’s straight ahead and a little to the left.”</p>
<p>“I know. I don’t need one of these You Are Here maps.” I could hear him chuckling as I padded with socked feet into the kitchen, skidding a little on the linoleum floor. That’s the last thing I’d need right now – face planting here and acquiring more injuries. I was careful as I slip out.</p>
<p>Nick had a nice townhouse – smart and a little modernized in style. His lounge was a 2 step couch that ran in conjunction around the centre, shaping it with 3 side tables in between. Step up and a little to the left is the door to the kitchen and a little to the right is a door that leads outside onto the patio with a pool. In between is the staircase where he had 3 bedrooms and a bathroom. Next to the kitchen was an open dining room with a hutch that opened into the kitchen and on the left hand side of the dining room was the downstairs bathroom.</p>
<p>“All okay?”</p>
<p>“Yup,” I said as I grabbed my beer and flopped onto the couch, taking up the same position as I had before.</p>
<p>“How’s the wrist?” He reached over to look and I pulled back.</p>
<p>“It’s not going to get any better Nick. It’s going to bruise badly and then heal, just like it always does.” I picked at the label on the bottle without looking up.</p>
<p>We sat in silence for a couple of minutes, both of us finishing our beers before anything was said.</p>
<p>“How do you manage to keep such an active social life then?”</p>
<p>The question caught me by surprised, not because it was out of nowhere, but because of the subject that pertained to it. I coughed and saw I was out of label to pick off.</p>
<p>“I try, is all I can say really. Trying with repeated rejection does tend to hurt after a while, but hey,” I said and then shrugged.</p>
<p>“You rejected? I don’t believe you!” He scoffed and finished his beer.</p>
<p>“Well Nicky, you believing it or not doesn’t really ascertain to the fact that it’s true,” I replied coolly and took a swig of my beer.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry Cath, I didn’t mean to offend you. I just find it hard to believe that any man would pass up the opportunity to be with you.” He fiddled with his beer bottle and reddened a little.</p>
<p>“Excuse me?” I frowned, not quite sure how to react to that. When I was dancing I was made to feel like an object all the time – it came with the job, I knew that, so I never read into it too much. However that was coming from low lives, drunks and losers. People who had thrown their lives away, which was sad, but what was sadder was that they had people at home who loved and cared about them. They were the problem in not wanting that love and care, but would rather blow it on a $50 dollar hooker.</p>
<p>“Geez I’m falling all over here,” he said as he turned another shade of red. “Wait, before I make an even bigger mess should we get something stronger? So then I at least have alcohol to blame?” He looked at me and anxiously fiddled with his beer bottle.</p>
<p>“Alcohol sounds good. The way my life is now, alcohol always sounds good.” I smiled tiredly, suddenly feeling drained.</p>
<p>“Vodka? Touch of lemon? Ice?”</p>
<p>I wiped my last drop of beer from the corner of my mouth. “Read me like a book!”</p>
<p>He laughed as he disappeared into the kitchen before saying, “Hey I got one thing right!”</p>
<p>“I’m sorry Cath,” he said again as he handed me my drink and then sat down, facing me.</p>
<p>“It’s okay Nick, I knew you didn’t mean it that way. It’s just something I’m always generalized with, but what you need to know is that when I was at the club I danced and ONLY danced. That’s it.”</p>
<p>“What I meant was they can’t be of sound mind if they passed up dating you.” He fingered my knee and then looked up at me and I could tell he genuinely meant it.</p>
<p>“Yeah, dating and I just don’t seem to pair up too well. I just seem to have a radar for the wrong men.” I smiled faintly and sipped, feeling the burn of the alcohol. “The last guy I actually walked in on. He was fucking some woman and his closing line was, ‘Well what do you expect? I run a nightclub.’” I stuck my chin out as I pressed my lips together. </p>
<p>“This is what I meant earlier when I said you’re guarded. I didn’t know about the issues with Lindsay or the crappy guys you were dealing with.”</p>
<p>“Well it’s not something I’d advertise Nick,” I said as I swirled my glass. “It just . . . gets lonely sometimes, you know? And sometimes one night is all you need just to feel human again.”</p>
<p>“One night stands? As in paying – “</p>
<p>“No of course not!” I snapped, horrified he’d even assume that. “It’s just people you come across in the field. I mean I know their names, if that’s what you mean.”</p>
<p>“Oh. Right, yeah, right, I was out of line,” he fumbled and looked down.</p>
<p>“S’okay. I know that wasn’t your intention.” I smiled and it was my turn to now rest my hand on his knee.</p>
<p>“This still turns my hand into a fist,” he said as he took my hand and held it in his, so he could see the bruising. “If he’s gonna beat people around then he at least needs to pick on someone his own size.”</p>
<p>I yawned and then downed the last of my drink, stretching to place it on the couch divider about a seat away from me and then turned to face Nick. “Eventually I began fighting back, but that only made it worse except during sex; for him it was a turn on.” I felt the bile rise in my throat and forced it down, switching my focus to my hand in his – same impression as Eddie, Nick’s hand outsized mine. I then gently linked our hands and moved to lie against him, resting my head against his shoulder. He was caught off guard and unsure what to do, but he didn’t retaliate.</p>
<p>“I think this might be more comfortable,” he said in a low voice.</p>
<p>He then lifted his arm so I could cuddle into him, now resting my head on his chest while our hands were still linked. I was so at ease I felt like I could fall asleep any second. Just resting my eyes for 2 minutes, but the last thing I remembered was Nick kissing the top of my head before I drifted off.</p>
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<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
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    <p>I was still practically asleep, but I realized that I wasn’t in a stationery position anymore, I was moving somehow, but not in control of said movement until my fuzzed brain put it together: Nick was carrying me upstairs, presumably to a bed room. I lay limp until I comprehended he was taking me to his bedroom and my heart started to thud. He lay me down gently and before he could move for the blanket I reached up and caught one of his belt loops with one finger.</p><p>“Hey,” I said my voice an octave lower from sleep. “Where do you think you’re going?” And I tugged pulling him towards me, so he sat down.</p><p>“Hey Cath, you were fast asleep. My couch isn’t very comfortable and none of the guest rooms are made up, so I was gonna let you take my bed and I was gonna grab a pillow and hit one of the guest rooms. It isn’t what it looks like,” he finished as he colored.</p><p>“Weeeellll . . .” I dragged out and took hold of his hand, turning it palm up. “What if . . .” I whispered. “What if I wanted it to look that way?” And I drew circles in his palm lightly with my middle finger.</p><p>“Uh Cath.” He swallowed and gaped a little at me, not quite knowing what to do, but I knew what I wanted to do. I let go his hand and placed one on his chest.</p><p>“C’mere,” I said still whispering. He leaned down and I slid my hands up past his shoulders and linked them at the base of his neck so I could guide him towards me. My heart still thudding, our lips met heatedly and I wasted no time in encouraging him to lie on top of me where he settled in between my thighs. I gasped into the kiss as I felt his weight and it intensified as he moved and I felt him harden against me. I moaned when I felt his tongue gently slide against mine, crunching his hair as he began to press light kisses across my jawbone and then down into the crook of my neck.</p><p>“Wait,” I panted. “Wait, wait, hold up.”</p><p>Nick looked up. “Is everything okay? If you don’t want to – “</p><p>“No I do, I really do.” I cupped his face. “However, this isn’t going to work unless we get rid of these.” I gestured towards our clothes and kissed him firmly, showing him I had no doubt. “Now.”</p><p>He grinned and sat up, throwing off his black shirt and unbuckling his jeans yanking them into a pile on the floor. He slid off his underwear and kicked it into the pile of his jeans. At the same time I had pulled my thin, long sleeved sweater over my head, balled it and threw it as if I were making a basket. I unzipped my slacks and slid them off easily, kicking them off the bed. Left in my underwear, I unclipped my bra and peeled off my thong before tossing them – my bra hooking on the bedside lamp. I giggled a little as Nick covered my body with his again, feeling the electric charge between us. His lips found mine again and this time he was a little more forceful, a little more urgent and I welcomed it. He dropped his head to my breasts, alternating between suckling so my nipples became hard.</p><p>“Oooohhhh Nick,” I groaned in encouragement. “I need you, now.”</p><p>He looked up and grinned, creating a path of searing kisses up my chest until our lips met again. Then he moved and I could feel his warm breath against the shell of my ear. “I think I’ve needed you for a long time Cath.” When he leaned back I could tell he meant it not just by the look on his face, but by the comfort I saw in his eyes.</p><p>“Aw Nicky,” I mouthed with no sound, choked up on emotion. I kissed him passionately in reply instead and shifted my hips to meet his and gasped again at the feel of him against my core. He teased me, dipping his tip in once or twice and when I squirmed impatiently he smiled and with one push he slid his length inside me. I cried out at his size stretching me a little and I felt him brush aside a lock of hair, tucking it behind my ear.</p><p>“You okay? Cath?” And he steadied himself without moving.</p><p>“Hmmmm,” I hummed with my eyes closed. “More than okay. I just need to adjust.” When I felt okay I thrust my hips and he caught my rhythm, keeping time. I moaned loudly every time I felt him move inside me and drew my knees up so he could slip in a little deeper, right to the hilt.</p><p>“Cath,” he said through clenched teeth. “I’m not gonna last much longer here.”</p><p>I ran my hands across his sweaty chest and strained to kiss him while I slipped my hand down between us where I could feel we were joined. I then rubbed my clit a couple times and bit my lip knowing I was going to come soon.</p><p>“Nick,” I moaned loudly. “Come with me. I want you to come – “</p><p>He shuddered and I felt him release his seed into me. It was a couple seconds later I stiffened and felt my warmth coat him. He collapsed on top of me, panting heavily.</p><p>“That was . . . incredible,” I said breathlessly into his ear. He sat up and as he slipped out of me he held me close to him while he flipped us so I would be lying against him. I kissed his chest and raked it with one hand, the sensation of my nails making him shiver.</p><p>“Okay, now I can sleep,” I said as I buried into him and smiled, weirdly feeling completely relaxed.</p><p>“You deserve better Cath,” he murmured firmly. “I’m gonna try and make up for that better.” And he held me tightly, moving a lock of hair off my sweaty temple and softly kissed the top of my head.</p><p>I couldn’t wait to discover what this ‘better’ was.</p>
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